Recovery from a break up is hard going and emotionally draining. It requires a painful mixture of self reflection, acceptance, acknowledgement and letting go of love and dreams. There is no time line when it comes to healing and certainly no handbook on dealing with the issues and potential baggage that can follow you around afterwards.
If you have a scab and keep picking at it the wound remains open and takes longer to heal each time. I guess I’ve been a scab picker for a few months almost letting it heal then reopening the wound. Its almost sado masochistic in the sense that i was encouraging myself to feel pain.
Eventually i found myself enjoying the pain less and less finding the whole scab picking tedious and detrimental to my life and as im a cold hearted bastard i knew id reach a point of shutting down and switching off my feelings.
Im often told im a negative person “glass half empty” kind of person and by nature have a miserable looking face, I dispute that last one to be honest its not a miserable face its the weight of my chins pulling my smile down into a frown….but thats a different story
I made a conscious effort to be positive and happy. To stop putting myself in a position of vulnerability and hurt and take back whats mine. My self respect, my dignity and my life.
I feel like a new me, a happier me again. Like the Garry of old before I was worn down and stopped ignoring myself and looking after myself.
I am a good person, I have a great sense of humour a warm personality and many other good qualities. Sure I fuck up at all times but show me a human who doesnt get it wrong and I’ll show you a liar.
Im ready to start living in the now and not the past, make plans with friends meet someone new eventually and never look back again. No baggage, no hang ups and no letting my limitations and expectations being dropped.
Im happy again and no matter what gets thrown my way im gonna keep smiling, laughing and joking.